Respectful Presence

“…we hold the dying person in our gaze, our hearts, our prayers, knowing that it would be disrespectful to avert our eyes, that the only gift we have to offer in this moment is our undivided attention.” (Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness)

In his book, A Hidden Wholeness, Parker Palmer explains a way of being together in a form of community that he refers to as a Circle of Trust. In a culture that has trained us to fix and save each other, Palmer introduces us to the possibility of a different way. He explains that despite the fact that we routinely invade or evade each other in our typical human interactions, we innately sense not to do so at the bedside of the dying. Here, we realize that our only appropriate response is to be a quiet, steady presence in the midst of the struggle.

Palmer believes that we must learn to interact with our friends, family members, neighbors, and co-workers in the same way. Offering safe space for the soul.

Reading Palmer’s book this Lenten season, it strikes me that this respectful presence is something that we can also offer Jesus. To place ourselves at His feet as He hangs on the cross. Be witness to His agony. To stay, because it is the only thing in our power to do.

Meditation: In what ways do you tend to invade or evade people who are suffering? What would it look like for you to offer respectful presence instead?